My cancer has taught me hard-learned lessons. It has no
uncertainty. It will stay with me until
the end. To be positive, let’s hope for remission.
My epilepsy, in comparison, is but a kind soul, can have but a soft
wisp of air behind it. This is far from the case for some people, but in mine
it is. Sure, every once in a while I have a breakthrough seizure, but that’s
only every two months or so. Other people with epilepsy would love for their
seizures to occur that often, actually being able to have a good life in
between seizures because of their infrequency. To me, even having
seizures every now and then leaves me nervous with uncertainty as to when the
next one will be.
In my humble opinion, it is so frustrating that uncertainty
even exists. If you knew, for example, that something was going to happen each day
around four p.m., like an ice cream truck coming around in your neighborhood,
you could prepare for it and have your money ready to buy some ice cream. The
uncertainty of something happening every once in a while, for instance a
seizure, is very infuriating. Not knowing when a seizure will occur colors my
life. It may not for others, but it give
me unending pain.
On the other hand, one of the certainties of my seizures
is that they only occur at night, in the evening hours. In an off-handed kind
of way, this is a good thing, I guess, because now my doctor and I know when to
focus on how to eliminate the seizures from occurring. I mean, if there were a
medicine that could protect me from having another seizure in the evening, I’m
all for it. For example, maybe a small booster med around four in the
afternoon to help avoid another seizure would prevent all break-throughs.
When I contacted my doctor with my idea about only having seizures
at night, he told me to swipe my VNS magnet about an hour after I take my
evening meds. He only told me this less than a month ago, so I don’t know if
the magnet works the way he thinks it will. Only time will tell.
As the saying goes, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single
step.”
Comments