My cancer has taught me hard-learned lessons. It has no uncertainty. It will stay with me until the end. To be positive, let’s hope for remission.
My epilepsy, in comparison, is but a kind soul, can have but a soft wisp of air behind it. This is far from the case for some people, but in mine it is. Sure, every once in a while I have a breakthrough seizure, but that’s only every two months or so. Other people with epilepsy would love for their seizures to occur that often, actually being able to have a good life in between seizures because of their infrequency. To me, even having seizures every now and then leaves me nervous with uncertainty as to when the next one will be.
In my humble opinion, it is so frustrating that uncertainty even exists. If you knew, for example, that something was going to happen each day around four p.m., like an ice cream truck coming around in your neighborhood, you could prepare for it and have your money ready to buy some ice cream. The uncertainty of something happening every once in a while, for instance a seizure, is very infuriating. Not knowing when a seizure will occur colors my life. It may not for others, but it give me unending pain.
On the other hand, one of the certainties of my seizures is that they only occur at night, in the evening hours. In an off-handed kind of way, this is a good thing, I guess, because now my doctor and I know when to focus on how to eliminate the seizures from occurring. I mean, if there were a medicine that could protect me from having another seizure in the evening, I’m all for it. For example, maybe a small booster med around four in the afternoon to help avoid another seizure would prevent all break-throughs.
When I contacted my doctor with my idea about only having seizures at night, he told me to swipe my VNS magnet about an hour after I take my evening meds. He only told me this less than a month ago, so I don’t know if the magnet works the way he thinks it will. Only time will tell.
As the saying goes, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”